Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Undo Me

First of all i need to say that this poem really hit home.
It comes from the awesome radio station www.klove.com
It was read out the other day and i just had to find it and stick it on here. I love it. I can read it over and over because it is so Real!

So thanks to KLOVE and JD Chandler for this poem. Your work in this really has got stuck in many peoples minds.






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I don’t really worship these day
I don’t really stand up to praise you with songs
Or prayers or actions
or with anything
I am full of all the right moves
I am full of all the right words
I am full of all the right religion
But it is all just illusion
I am really
Lonely
Lost
Calloused
Jaded
Cynical
Too religious
Too realistic
and well really just to lazy
to worship you anymore
I have lost my first love
I have lost the joy of your presence
But most of all I have lost the fear of your glory

Father I need to see you again
Like Isaiah I want to stand in awe of your glory
To fall down at your feet
To come face to face with your
Perfection,
Radiance,
Goodness,
Holiness,
Awesomeness
I want to stand before you and see you for who you are
and me for who I am
I want to be undone

I want to know me for who I really am
I want to see the depths of my heart
And know that you are the only way
You are the only truth
You are the only life
I want to see me and understand
What it really must have taken for you to
Love me
Care for me
See me
Speak to me
Want me
Communicate with me
Die for me
Die for me
Die for me

Lord, I want to stand in that place where all I can see is your glory
And my sin
Because in that place I can’t help but worship you.
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
Lord, undo my heart
break down these walls that I love so much
No, wait don’t,
I’m scared I don’t know if I can handle this
don’t
But I can’t live this way anymore
I can’t stand here in this half-life
this going through the motions life
this not really alive life
Father, I need you so come in and do what you must
Cut out the tumor on my heart
Break down the walls that I love
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
let me worship you again

Monday, January 2, 2017

Expecting Guidance?

OK, I must admit this has been quite a turnaround and something has been telling me over the last few months to get back onto expressing feelings into “pen on paper”.
Since my last thought sometime ago, we have moved country and a lot has been happening around us between getting everything of ours sold up and sorted in one country and rebuilding in the next country.
This has brought me to writing this thought.

I woke up one night in horror and thought to myself – what the hell have I just done? Last year this time we were content in our house back in South Africa and this year we are in a new country and our lives have been turned upside down.
The scariest part of this is – I have not turned to God once throughout this process. I have not asked Him for His guidance, his protection and His direction. We have just gone ahead and done this alone and expected God to be there for us because we are Christians right?
Does it work that way?

Is it right for me to just think that now that I am a Christian and I am saved, God will just protect us and I can “Expect” that He just continues to bless us. I don’t think that’s how it works right!
How selfish and completely arrogant of me to think that I am just blessed and that God will just fit into place where expected and we will be guided.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
I just realised that I completely ignored and disregarded this verse from Gods Word.
But God is forgiving right. I know that I can go back to Him in Prayer and ask Him to forgive me for “expecting Him” to abide and treating Him like He owes me something. That’s something God will forgive me on because it is promised in His Word.

But what got me thinking is how often do we actually do this. We go along in our daily routine and expect that We have this path laid ahead of us and everything will just be OK and work and we expect that God has led us in the right direction. Often I wake up in the morning or go to bed at night without praying or having a quiet time with God, because life got too busy and I forgot. What a ridiculous excuse, but I think it happens more often than not. Its very easy to fall out of “speaking to God”.

The thoughts on my mind are, 
1. Am i alone in this? I have sinned, where does this leave me?
2. When we leave God out of our decisions and daily movements, what does this mean?
3. When we expect God to fall into place when we expect Him to guide us automatically, does He still?
4. And now that I have walked on my own path in the last while - Will it be difficult to get back on the right path with God and apologise?

I guess the best place to turn is Gods Word. Contrary to what I have done, let me turn to what God has to say about a situation as such:

Answers to the above from the Bible:
1. Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God
2. Jame 1:5 - If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
3. 1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
4. a) Psalm 51:10 - Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
b) 2 Chronicles 7:14 - If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

 A prayer in closing..... When times like this happen


Dear Lord, I am calling upon you today for
your divine guidance and help. I am in crisis
and need a supporting hand to keep me on the
right and just path. My heart is troubled but I will
strive to keep it set on you, as your infinite wisdom
will show me the right way to a just and right resolution. 
Thank you for hearing my prayer and for staying by my side. 
Amen!
For Unfailing Strength
Do not look forward to what may happen
tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares
for you today will take care of you tomorrow and
every day. Either He will shield you from suffering,
or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

Be at peace, then. Put aside all anxious thoughts and
imaginations, and say continually: "The Lord is my
strength and my shield. My heart has trusted in Him
and I am helped. He is not only with me but in me,
and I in Him."