Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Anger Circle

So again I write this because its a daily challenge for me. I hope this makes sense, because it is a little involved.
I struggle with anger all the time and also struggle to find the best way to stop it.
The problem is, that I have a split second in which to allow hundreds of signals going through my brain to stop and take another path - and this is the challenge.

For me, Anger had become more of a nasty habit than anything else and I think most of it is based on a quick temper.
After serious thinking and thought and worrying and wondering, I think I have found a good flow of what happens in that 'anger' moment.
We need a trigger, first of all. Something triggers our anger. Yes, there are many things that could do this and this is not the problem, its what happens afterwards which causes the problem.
Once the trigger happens, your brain directs a signal down a specific path to pick up your belief on what has just happened. The path that your brain picks is the same and is so ingrained because of the way you acted in previous situations and every time you get angry about something, you brain knows exactly where to send the signal to get a reaction.
Your belief on the situation is most probably a thought that you had previously on the same situation.
Once your brain has sent that signal to the "thought", then a consequence happens. A consequence could be anything from an angry outburst, bitterness towards someone, harsh words or slander against someone or rage.

So here it is:    TRIGGER  -----  BELIEF  -----  CONSEQUENCE

But it doesn't stop here, because this whole thing works in a circle because the consequence and the belief work hand in hand. They both feed each other for the next time you get an anger moment. It grows stronger and stronger, making your belief more 'stubborn' and your consequences more 'outrageous'.
This is the trap I am in and I believe it is the trap that many of us get into.
We have to get out!

Now what I am leading to is Ephesians 4:31:
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.

This circle of rage that I mention above is completely against Ephesians 4:31, word by word (well I made it that way :))
But the point is here that anger turns to bitterness, bitterness turns to people not wanting to be around you and thus you get more upset, your beliefs strengthen against someone or yourself and then the consequences become worse. In fact, you end up looking for anything to be angry about! Your brain is too aware of the triggers and cant wait to start signaling your beliefs.

How do we stop this?
We need to create a new path for our brain to start signaling through. We need to stop feeding the old aggressive bitter path and start creating a path which leads to
Ephesians 4:32:
Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

How do we create a new path? Well I believe that we need to change our beliefs on certain things. To me, the whole core of this bitter circle is the belief part and it ends up like "What we belief is what we are!"
And changing our beliefs on certain things, we need to look at Jesus. Look at how Jesus acted, what He said, what triggered his emotions and anger and what the consequences were.
Ephesians 4:23: Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.

Yes, its difficult. Yes you are going to fail 90% of the time. But that 90% will come down to 40%  on so on, and soon you will look back and notice that things that you used to get angry about and things that flared your temper, just wouldn't excite you that much anymore.
But remember, Anger is still a God given emotion and there are still times that we should get angry.

Does this make sense. I don't know if I have relayed my thoughts properly here as it is one of those "write as you think" things...
Let .me know

All thanks and praise to God for His Word.

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